Thanks to Skillet

for another song to add to my favorites. "Those Nights." Go YouTube it if you haven't heard it yet.

I'm starting to get into the mode where I transition back to my other life. As it stands I see two opposing forces, one in each, each asking me to be a different person. I know who I need to side with, which answer I need to live up to and let take over the other. It's not easy. It's tempting. But neither of those phrases really encompass what it's like. I have to do violence against myself, no matter which I choose.

When I was a freshman, I discovered two characters in my mind, "Good Katelyn" and "Bad Katelyn". Over time, more popped up, and the good and bad evolved, the others taking sides. If you want to take a spiritual spin on it, one is an advocate for this world, one for the next. I feel like they're circling each other right now, knives in hand, biding their time until one slaughters the other. I know what side will need to win this battle, who I want to win. But the projected winner won't always be strong, and won't always have the ability to keep the other submissive. Before I step on the Mount, maybe before, maybe on the plane...but sometime the decision will have to be made.

And I'll need people to help me stick with it. Plane and simple. It'll change my lifestyle. But it'll be for the best. I just hope that I have enough strength to stick to it.