Monday, March 23, 2009

The Christian understanding of being an RA

I am so, so mad right now.

But the reason why I'm mad isn't justified. It's part of the cross we're bearing. The ResLife cross we're bearing. We are called to a higher standard than the other students, and you can't deny that. You give up your freedom and your anonymity with this job.

I'm so mad at him, so so SO mad at him. It's low, disgusting and petty. He's grabbing for everyone around him to drag down with him, instead of taking responsibility for what he did. It's immature and hypocritical. I hate it, hate it.

But he's right, and Katherine's gracious, so I get to suck it up and be better than everyone else. And until I'm not mad anymore, that will be my consolation. I'm better than that one who's trying to throw us all under the bus. I have no choice now than to live up to this standard.

This has implications for next year, too. Now that someone has said something, no one else can. Fuck that shit. I don't want to be better. But we have to be, because we chose to be.

And in a way I get a sort of peace from that. Go ahead, call me out for being elitist. I don't care, because that's what I'm going to be until I'm not mad anymore. Better to be elitist than vindictive.

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