My Epic Trip Home, Volume 2

~*~ From my Facebook Notes ~*~

Hello everyone! Remember when I got laid over in Las Vegas last year and had to spend the night? This is slightly more epic. I think I’m giving Jason and Odysseus a run for their money. :-)

So this started out Saturday morning. I finished packing and whatnot, and Doug was kind enough to give me a ride to BWI. :-) Earlier I checked my email and found out that my connection to Portland got cancelled because Portland has no idea how to deal with icy snow. But, I end up figuring that I’ll get to Denver and then go from there; it’d probably be easier to find an alternative, and if anything I’d at least be halfway. Check in and security were pretty much standard procedure, aka boring as all heck. There was a nice French Horn choir, though, playing nice Christmas music. :) Now the fun part happens.

My flight was good, I had a window seat, and half of what little legroom I had was taken up by my backpack (aka, the rather large “personal item” supplementing my “carry on bag”. Stretching the TSA’s rules is an art I practice. But don’t worry, they get me back later.) But aside from being cramped, it was something I could deal with. Plus I’m not a fan of checking luggage. EVER. It’s a huge hassle.

There was a kid next to me in the middle seat, and an older woman on the aisle. The kid was 14, an air force brat, wanted to be a marine biologist, had full blown ADHD (that was no surprise, in a sweetly endearing sort of way), and had a slightly off-color sense of humor common to high school freshmen. He also had a taste for violent movies that was slightly disturbing, and a delightfully slightly dark sense of humor. At first I tried to take a nap, which mostly resulted in me half snoozing and half philosophizing about my life. It’s amazing what clarity the solitude amongst the holiday masses can bring. But that’s neither here nor there, and some of my conclusions will be a separate Note. *ahem* So after I took a two hour nap (successfully missing all the drink and food service, but awakening when I mistakenly thought the seatbelt sign was supposed to be for landing. Blasted turbulence), Andrew talked my ear off for the rest of the flight. Normally I just try to sleep through things, but I didn’t even have to try all too hard to be interested in what he was saying. Cute kid. Hopefully he has a good Christmas with his mom and brother in Denver.

When we land I let everyone else off the plane first, because I didn’t have to make a connection that was going to leave without me in ten minutes like most other people. I get off, and go find the United Airlines Customer Services. After a bit of walking, I find it. Yay! But with it, I see a line. So I start walking. And walking. And walking. But don’t worry, I found the end of it! I just had to pass about a hundred people to get there. So thus ensued how I spent my Saturday night.

Now, everyone knows those jokes about how horrible the DMV lines are. Granted, it’s boring as all heck, and people are cranky and really just don’t want to be there. Some people imagine that that’s what hell is like – a never ending DMV line. But now, dear reader, imagine that boredom and agitation and frustration and length, and multiply by ten. You’re now imagining my Saturday Night Line Experience. This was like a line for a Disney Land Ride without a Fast Pass, except there wasn’t an awesomely overrated ride at the end, but the slight chance of getting half of what you need to go to wherever you need to go. I spent a good two hours, probably two and a half, in that line. At the end of it, I was granted a pink hotel discount slip and a standby ticket for a flight to PDX (Portland, for you n00bs out there), which, although infinitely better than nothing (for the concept of nothing is an infinite non-existence in itself, therefore…ok, I’ll stop), was a far cry from anything truly helpful.

The best part of the line, or at least most interesting, was the people (you had to have seen this coming).

There was Chinese Exchange Girl, who was directly in front of me. She was visiting some friends in Seattle, and this was her first Christmas in America. She was quite nice, and seemed to be about my age. She spent a lot of time talking on her cell in what I assume was Mandarin, and I got to watch her stuff while she went to the bathroom. I saw her again this morning, in Line of Death, The Sequel.

There was Pile of Kids. They were fun to look at, like one of those side attractions Disney has to keep people happy while they wait forever in line. There was one mom sitting in the middle of a pile of five kids, ranging in ages from a few months to about seven years old or so. They were using each other as pillows, and one of the younger boys was running around between in mom and dad, acting as a four year old go between. Definitely the Aww of the Day.

Then there was also Big Angry Businessman. He was in front of Chinese Exchange Girl. He was mean. Really mean. Not to me, or anyone in line, just to all the people working overtime to help us sorta almost get somewhere. Basically the story goes that he was told his plane was delayed, and decided that he and his wife would grab a few beers in a nearby restaurant. Low and behold, the airport doesn’t have speakers announcing when flights leave in the bars, so he missed his plane. Instead of taking personal responsibility for what turned out to be a bad choice on his part, he decided to very rudely and loudly blame everyone he could contact on his cell phone. He thought that because he was a big mileage special person he knew how to do the jobs of the people he was bitching at better than they did. It really, really, really pissed me off the way he was talking to them.

The best people were Sarah and Eric, a newlywed couple on their way back from their honeymoon, Oregon natives. They were both students; I think Eric was working on his Master’s in Engineering and then working towards a PhD at OSU. The two of them were both RAs in college, too. They were behind me in line, and kept me thoroughly entertained during the line waiting, telling stories of their honeymoon at a resort I can’t remember. In true Northwest spirit, they had spent it hiking and ropes coursing and whatnot. They also had an awesome imitation of a ticket agent (Sarah) and ‘anonymous angry customer’ (Eric), that had about half the people around us laughing. They graciously asked if I would like to split a room with them, seeing if a double would be cheaper than two singles (Sarah: I know what it’s like for college students and cash!). I accepted, and we went and got McDonalds after getting our standby tickets for the next morning. They were really quite awesome people, and really helped me out a lot when it came to figuring out the hotel stuff, which I hadn’t ever done before.

We ended up staying our six hours at a Marriott, and that was pretty classy. They had bath and body works little shampoos, and really soft beds, and a really nice reception area. Too bad we didn’t get to enjoy it too much. It was good to sleep somewhere outside an airport terminal, and the next morning at 6 we took a shuttle to the airport.

Security was annoying. The TSA got back at me for all the rules I skimp on when I fly by ‘randomly’ selecting me (yeah, all the stand bys got randomly selected) for extra special security measures, because apparently I either fit the description of a terrorist or a PC example to keep them out of trouble with people who think they profile people. They went through all my stuff, gave me a lecture about putting all of my 3.4 ounce liquid containers in a clear reseal-able one liter bag so they can do a ‘visual check’, and put me through the magic spinning vortex of x-rayness.

Finally I got to my gate, about an hour before boarding. To make a long and boring story short, that flight got cancelled and I got to stand in Line of Death The Sequel, at which time I got on the phone with people and automated voices and discovered that my best option would probably be to shoot for Seattle ASAP then get to Portland from there. It was there that I parted ways with Sarah and Eric, who were going to look for a flight to Eugene. I set up a hotel with another automated voice, and a shuttle with a real person. The mountains were gorgeous outside the airport, when I was waiting for the shuttle. And despite the exhaust fumes, the air was soooo fresh and cold, I love it. So yay for Colorado. It’s a good place, if I wasn’t here alone.

The Double Tree hotel’s nice. I’m just glad to be somewhere where I’ve got a nice squishy bed, food sources, and entertainment. They’ve got Neutrogena French Milled Soap, my Starbucks (peppermint white mocha!), a bar/grill, and a really nice view of the city of Denver and the snowcapped mountains on the horizon. Plus a TV. :) I only have two qualms. They made me pay ten bucks a day for internet (who the HELL does that?), which also sort of shows how addicted I am to it. Secondly, the walls are thin.

So in the meantime, I’m going to go back to watching my TV and go visit the food place later, maybe take a nice bath. I’m going to thoroughly make the best of this, because there’s nothing else I can really do until I get home. I miss you guys so much: my family, my Camas gang and my Mounties. I’ll keep in touch through Facebook, texting and a phone call if you’re cool enough. ;-) Merry Christmas to all of you, have a great break and be sure to come back safe to wherever you come from.

Much Love,

Katelyn
aka Steinke

P.S Number 1: So thus ends my first night at the Double Tree. I spent a good chunk of it talking to people, which was really nice. :) But the best part? My dad got me a flight on Alaska Airlines from Denver through Seattle to Portland for Tuesday evening! And the best part? The Denver to Seattle leg is FIRST CLASS. Apparently it was a pretty good discount, and heck, it's a flight into PDX! The Seattle to P-town portion is just a little tiny rickety puddle jump plane (45 minutes, tops), so it's all economy seating there. :) Awwwwww yeeeeaaaahhh. The other good thing is that I ended up ordering room service for my dinner tonight at like 10:30pm (some really weird fennel chicken potato tomato sauce thingy that was a bit odd, even for my weird tastes). The person who brought it up was a nice young woman about my age, with dyed red hair. She asked me where I would like her to put the tray, to which I promptly took it from her and put it on the desk, and gave her a tip. It would have felt really awkward having her put the try down where I told her; I don't care if it's in her job description, she's my equal and thus above kissing my ass. *end rant* She asked if I was one of the people whose flight got canceled, and we chatted about how many rude and angry people there are from it in the hotel tonight. Then I said goodnight, and dug in while continuing to explore the wonders of the internet. After I get done typing this I'm going to go call United Airlines and cancel the Seattle flight I booked earlier today. I've got a whole day of slacking ahead of me tomorrow. :)