End of the semester note

Dear Diary,

I guess this one should be monumental or something, because I'm halfway finished with my undergrad. But it won't be, at least, right now I don't think I have anything profound to write. I almost didn't write one, but then I realized that I actually did do one last semester, so I really owe it to myself to keep up the tradition.

If last year was sunshine and meadows, this year was rainstorms and mountains. It wasn't entirely pleasant, but there was a lot of good. If I'm going to be honest in figuring out what I've learned, it's not going to be sugary and nice. I've seen a few catastrophes and tragedies, through my eyes and others. The world didn't end, but it seemed like it came close a few times. This may not be all nice, but I'm going to slog through it, so I can look back next year and remind myself of it.

First, if things go bad, really bad, then panic and crying never solves or helps the problem. What makes it better are calmness, compassion and decisiveness. There will, and should, be a time for crying. It's therapeutic, and we all need at least someone we can cry on.

I love my friends dearly, even if we grow apart. And by grow apart, I mean make decisions and do things that really piss each other off. What I decided last year about love still holds true: if you decide to love someone, to really love them, that never turns off. Your affection may go away, but your love won't. If it does, I really think that you either never really loved them to begin with, or don't understand what that is really about. I love my friends, and we've all definitely 'grown apart' this year. But I'm still pretty sure, nah, certain, that in the clutch they would be there for me. I guess that's what it's really about. Along the same lines, I know I do things that really annoy/concern/piss off/anger/frustrate some of my friends. But I'm selfish in that I'm okay with that. :-) For the first time, I feel like I don't have to be 'allowed' to do something, and that I can trust that my friends will still love me even if I go date an atheist or bemoan the god squad. This is a very, very good feeling. I know I'm lucky.

Speaking of Doug, he's definitely one of the better things that has happened this year. For better or for worse, he's been there to make me laugh and cry on and argue with and just be there when everyone else is doing other things. He makes me happy.

So what else...

~Procrastination will kill me. Next year WILL get better. Maybe.

~Drinking is overrated. Getting shwasted = bad. Having a beer while watching awesome comedies = good.

~Tumblr is addicting.

~Two end of the year hugs are the best thank you an RA can get.

~Band is dying, but I'm like Dr. House. I WILL find a solution.

~Band without Klunk is dark and sad.

~New Jersey's not too bad, but I still prefer Washington.

~It's good to be nice to important looking people in ties when you're in the RA work room. Mr. Important knows my name and talks to me on campus, but I have no idea who he is. Building committee?

~I desire to invest in a better wardrobe. I'm going to be a real person in a few years, and I'd like to look like one! Plus my jeans all have holes in conspicuous places...

~Go out and do something, and if in the middle of doing it you discover you're bound to fail, finish it with your all just to say you did. It might even turn out okay. Just don't do it more than once.

~Many people are surprisingly good, but many can also be really annoying.

~Gossip is bad, even when it seems harmless. It's ALWAYS better to just keep your damn mouth shut.

~I'm not as naive, but I'm still in that camp. And I like it that way.

~Communication is important.

~Cave your pride. It's good for you and will often get you the help you need.

Next year looks brilliant. I've got high hopes, and a better understanding of how things might turn out. Enjoy your summers, my friends. For now, I have a job to find and a road trip to plan.

Until August,

Katelyn