Samson

You are my sweetest downfall...I loved you first, I loved you first...

You know, I used to think Regina was talking about loving him before her. Before some other girl that he's with now. She's not, at least, not to me anymore. He's her first love.

Congratulations. College gave you a priceless learning experience, all in one. First love and loss.

...Oh I cut his hair myself one night, a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light, and he told that I'd done all right, and kissed me 'till the morning light, the morning light, and kissed me till the morning light...

Aww, Christ. Damn, I was so naive. Still am, really. Silly, silly girl, falling for a silly, silly boy. Now, if I want to do this properly, I'd lock myself in my room and cry for a few days. But I won't because there was no proper relationship. Woot yeah.

The thing is, he's no better than me. someday he'll figure it out.

So many assumptions, naive ultimatums...no boy will make me cry, if it's real it'll last forever, if it's real you'll see it lasting...oi. All I want to do is go off and get drunk. Forget him. i know I won't.

I want someone, anyone, else make me feel what he did. God it was good. God it was addictive. Wipe those eyes from my memory, that smile, that touch. Just like David, burn it. uhhhhhghhh.

What am I doing? Getting rid of my romantic love. My consolation: I can hang onto the fact that I can love him as one of my best friends. Sweet.

Eh, I can't talk to anyone about it. I could. But it's dumb. Nick's hurting enough, Andy's on the opposite end and hates him anyway so there's no way he'd be sympathetic. Der....yeah right.

Damn, and I thought I had it. Oh well. Go cry on the steps of Bradley.

Fool proof method as designed by me to get rid of him:

• Don't let yourself believe that it's possible. It's not. You were wrong.
  
• Don't listen to love songs at all costs. Listen to loss songs. Listen to country. Listen to power songs.
• Block his profiles. Use willpower. You don't care about what he's doing.
  
• Cry. Get mad. He's not worth your devotion or care.
  
• Distract yourself. Get a job. A hobby. Addictive internet websites. Friends
• Hang out with other people.
  
• Don't make excuses for him. He's got flaws, he doesn't feel the same way. That's just how it is.
• Laugh. Get other things to make you happy.
  
• Don't buy that pink sundress. In fact, don't buy any pink. Unless it's slutty lingerie.
  

We'll see how this works. It should be better by the end of the summer. Done.