Save Tonight, and fight the break of dawn...

Thank you, Facebook, for allowing me to customize who sees my link to this blog. Now only the privileged few get to view my "website."

I've got the actual BCDs in an hour or so. Whoo. If this isn't hazing and we're not being graded, then why do I feel like I'm going to throw up?

I've been placed on the training committee. With the assistant director, Jeff, who has questionable "machismo". Ask a latino what that means. I don't think Jeff likes me, ever since I ruined his metaphor one day in training by thinking outside the box. You're babysitting two kids, and you have two bags of chips to give them as snacks. one has been playing outside all day and is pretty hungry, the other isn't that hungry. So basically the question comes down to what is fair: equality, or needs based? I raised my hand and said that you should take the chips out of the bags and put the contents into a bowl, and put that between the kids. It gives equal opportunity and the ability for both to get what they need. Jeff didn't like it. I thought it was quite brilliant on my part. :-)

But that's ok, because Katherine, the other AD, is my boss. And she likes me lots.

sappy warning.

I woke up at about 2:30 last night to a text from David. When I finally got to my senses (while watching a certain RA suspiciously hanging out with a suspicious PS office outside my window), I read it and sent a coherent text back. But then I decided to put a sweatshirt on and go outside on the steps and give him a call. We talked for about forty minutes. So I lost an hour and a half of sleep. I'm glad I did. God I miss him. I'm glad I've got so much I have to do.

I'm listening to the playlist I made last year with honors lounge songs. I look out my window, the sun's shining and the breeze is nice. But hey, it's not complete. It's missing, I know what it is. But that's why I've got a file of memories to pull open. It's different now, from last year. I'm not burning the memories, trying to get it out of my head and moving on. Nope, they're going in a locked drawer, with a sticker on it saying Do Not Open Until Christmas.

heh.

God, I don't want to go over to Patriot for lunch. I'd rather sit here, with my thoughts and my self, and not be with anyone. But I can't. I want to, so bad, but I can't. I have to make the best of my situation, to deal with the things that are going on. I knew what I was getting into, and it's true, it's easier to deal with this time. Maybe because I'm not killing, but storing. Save it for later, and until then, live for today and the life here. It's not fair to people here, or back there. Put it to the back of my mind for now.

And I'll dig out the memories so I can go to a happy place while the old RAs are yelling in my face when I bust the mock party. :) or listen to the assault story. Yay for practical practice.

I don't want you wasting away. I want you to be happy, as happy as you can be. I want you to live.

Until later, my dears.